How to get my ass kicked by men in tights

For quite a while I’ve thought it would be funny to get a group of friends together, dress in Star Trek uniforms, and then attend a Renaissance Fair(e). If anyone asked us what we’re doing in out-of-period dress, we could tell them that our ship was caught in a space-time anomaly and was sent back to Earth, ca. 15th century. I could get into some Captain Kirk-like fights against guys with swords; I hear that even the heaviest plate armor is no match for the Vulcan nerve pinch.

There is a minor precedence for this: in the episode of “Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog” where Triumph makes fun of Star Wars fans standing in line for the opening of one of the Star Wars movies, a guy dressed as Spock arrives and flips everyone off. Hopefully the Renaissance Faire people would have more of a sense of humor.

OK, I know some of you are wondering, where is the monkey in this scheme? Well, I could get a monkey-sized Star Trek uniform, and train a monkey to go up to people and scan them with a “tricorder”. When the person being scanned acts surprised, I could explain “Do not be afraid. My science officer is making standard readings so that we might better understand the biology of your species. However, I recommend not making any aggressive moves, as Mr. Tibbles may throw his feces at you if alarmed”.

This week was the second episode of “Project Runway”. Last week, if you recall, I mentioned a certain designer that I found very annoying. He lost this week, and I felt really bad for him. In an interview clip, he talked about how his mother told him that he’d never be a designer and how he was going to use “Project Runway” to prove to his mother that he could make it in the fashion industry. It seems he has some serious issues, and his arrogance is just a façade. However, his gown design was horrible….it looked like furry earthworms were crawling across the model’s chest.

I haven’t been getting much feedback lately, so I hope that people are enjoying the blog. If there is anything in particular that you’d like me to write about, I take requests.